whoa whoa whoa you’re really wracking up the happy birthday’s. Can’t everyone just be my favorite follower? Thanks again though!
Ahhhh you are definitely one of my favorite and lovely followers! Thank you!
Today is my birthday. I am now 19. Does that mean anything to me? I can get harassed to buy smokes for minors and I can buy my own cigars. That’s about it. Whomp whomp. I feel like today was extremely disappointing. I just wanted a text, no, even just a snapchat from either one of you. I didn’t get that. I wanted good news from my parents for the first time in forever. I really didn’t get that. I didn’t want to see my friends and a bunch of random people drunk at Friday’s at my family dinner. I got that…I’m not ungrateful, I’m just empty. I’m a cloud of my own smoke. I’m upset because the hopes I did have were crushed. I have amazing friends who did definitely make a difference today. Between long birthday texts and ugly pictures with long descriptions on my Facebook page. That was fantastic, but there were something that’s just broke my heart. I can’t support my grandparents, my mother, go to school, go to work and play in my band. I hate that the world is always on my shoulders. I’ve sold my car, I’ve thought about giving away my kidney and nothing is ever enough. I was literally going to give up a part of me and it wasn’t enough. I’m never enough. With words like “I still love you” and times like this it’s sometimes really hard to say no. For my safety though I did. Today was missing the magic it used to have. I miss the blissful ignorance that my family (grandparents) was more than enough to keep me happy because no one would come to my birthday party even though I sent out invitations personally.